As I write this the last embers of the Rangers’ 2013 season have been snuffed out. It went all the way to game 163, but they couldn’t keep it rolling.
The whole thing started 6 months ago in Houston. I drove down from DFW that afternoon. Traffic kinda sucked. It rained on the way. I spent $30 on parking. The Rangers lost.
I’d been looking forward to that day for a while. Opening Night just down 45. Cheap tickets available. Seemed like a good way to usher in a new season.
As I drove, listening to podcasts on my phone, a thought occurred to me. I’d been looking forward to this night for months, but what was there to look forward to after? There would be plenty of baseball to watch, but what was there beyond that?
To put it bluntly, not much.
I’ve spent the last 6 months trying to shake that feeling, with little success. My head hasn’t been in the right place. Baseball writing and personal projects have suffered because of a clouded mind.
I’ve tried to stay positive, to pull myself out of the funk. Hasn’t been easy. It’s a daily thing, trying to stay above it. I’ve had a lot of long nights.
Many times I’ve gone to a darker place than I ever thought I would.
For whatever reason it’s just stuck with me. Six months of struggle. An emotional state not unlike Josh Hamilton in 2012.
Much like 2012 Jamilton, I am a bit relieved that baseball is over. After living and dying 163 times, I ought to focus elsewhere. I ought to worry about myself and whatever I need to start getting right.
It’s been a long season. It’s been a rough season. It’s time to try something different.