How the Other Half Lives (archives)

This ol’ diddy was posted to SDI a while back. Decided to archive it here.
Every once in a while – usually after the Angels lose a game to the Rangers – I like to check in on Halos Heaven, Anaheim’s SB Nation affiliate. I started doing it last July to scratch my schadenfreude itch and it’s become something of a guilty pleasure.
One of SBN’s bits is the Open Game Thread, which is a forum that acts kind of like a chat room. If you scroll through after the fact, it’s like watching the game again with 50 angry Angels fans screaming in your face.
It’s a good way to unwind after a stressful Rangers win.
Not only has this afforded me an opportunity to feed my gauche monster, but it’s also taught me a thing or two about Angels fans.
Allow me to share some of my observations…
  • Angels fans hate the Rangers. – Not surprising. This is a rivalry and the fans have responded accordingly. I do wonder if this is recent (c. 2010), but I suppose it doesn’t really matter.
    The hate is strong and the hate is real.
  • Angels fans hate Rangers fans. – They call us “hayseeds”, which I guess is meant to indicate that we’re all tractor ridin’ hillbillies. They come up with other clever things like calling us Texass or implying that we all fornicate with our cousins.
    It’s kind of sad how much time they spend fixating on us. It’s also kind of funny.
  • Angels fans hate The Ballpark in Arlington. – They call it a bandbox and gnash their teeth about the competitive advantage it gives the Rangers. (Funny that this never seems to come up when Albert Pujols is belting homeruns halfway to Grand Prairie….)
    I’ve also seen terms like “dump” and “ghetto” thrown around. You probably already know how off base that is, so let’s move along.
  • Angels fans hate Ian Kinsler. – I guess this goes back to early 2009 when Kinsler told the Angels to “get the [expletive]” off the field. The fans took that personally and haven’t let it go.
    His nickname is Ratface, in case you were wondering.
  • Angels fans hate A.J. Pierzynski. – Kinsler would still be public enemy number one if not for Texas’ new backstop. MLB’s video embedder doesn’t seem to work, but you can click the box below to see the video…

    The play above (from the 2005 ALCS) sparked a game-winning rally. The White Sox went on to take the series and eventually a title. Anaheimians are still bitter about the game that A.J. stole from them.
  • Angels fans don’t know who C.J. Wilson or Josh Hamilton are. – It’s very satisfying to read things like “Why can’t C.J. just throw strikes?!” or “Why does Hamilton have to swing at everything?!” when it’s somebody else’s problem.
    Even more satisfying is the fact that Angels fans somehow blame us, as if it’s our fault that Arte Moreno keeps signing Ranger castoffs for too much money.
  • Angels fans call Chris Iannetta “Destructobeam”. – I don’t know what the origin of this nickname is, but I like it. It’s the one positive thing I’ve taken away from these OGT’s.
    (Editor’s note: Sadly, I later discovered that this particular nickname didn’t originate at Halos Heaven. Rockies fans gave it to him years ago and Angels fans just kept it going. So much for the one positive thing, I guess.)
  • Angels fans hate their own broadcasts. – Maybe they wouldn’t be bothered if the team was performing better, but these fans really don’t like the FSWest presentation. Seriously, the guy who runs the site wrote a whole article about how bush league it is.
    Mark “Gubi” Gubicza (their equivalent of TAG) is a big sticking point as well.
  • Angels fans don’t like Jerry Dipoto. – Dipoto’s just the fall guy for the owner and most fans seem to recognize this. Not all, but most.
  • Angels fans HATE Mike Scioscia. – You think the Ron Washington bashing is bad? You have no idea.
    The running theme is that every game would be winnable if Scioscia knew how to deploy his bullpen. Never mind that the ‘pen is actually quite awful, or that the owner keeps collecting names (Jamilton, Pujols, et cetera) instead of needs.
    In a way I feel bad for Scioscface. His days in Anaheim are probably numbered.
  • Angels fans hate losing. – Which the Angels have become quite good at the last few years.
I’ve always appreciated the average baseball fan’s ability to keep things between the lines, but these Angels fans give me a completely different vibe. Most of them seem to have crossed over into the bad kind of hate, and that saddens me.
Then again, this is just a small sample of the millions who root for Los Angeles of Anaheim. For the sake of fairness, I’ll assume that Halos Heaven just draws certain types of people who are the exception and not the rule.
Press on, Rangers fans.

About Mike Luna

Fan. Writer. Professional human being.
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2 Responses to How the Other Half Lives (archives)

  1. I’ve always wanted to see that video. For some reason it never posted on SDI. Thank you!

    • Mike Luna says:

      When I originally wrote the article I had trouble finding it for some reason, so I just wrote out a description of the events. Went looking for it yesterday and found it.

      Thus I cut the original text and put the video in its place.

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